Immigration.
Many people decide to go to another country for different reasons, to try new opportunities. Firstly, the main reason for immigration is that many countries have economic problems as well as not stable jobs; so people have to go away to find a stable one. Sometimes people decide to leave their family and travel alone, which is not easy. Secondly, other reason of immigration could be that people do not feel safe in the place where they are living. Thirdly, generally when people spend a holiday time on a foreign country they fell in love with it and decide to start a new life there. To conclude, people have many reasons to immigrate but the decision of starting a new life in other country is not an easy one.
Peer correction
ResponderEliminarIn my opinion, in the first sentence, you should have written a connector instead of a coma; or either you should have omitted the last sentence because it seems like one of the reasons is "to try new oppotunities" and an example should not be included in the topic sentence. I also think that the idea of immigration has to do with "moving" to another country, and not "going". I should replace "go" with "move".
I think that you successfully developed the body of the paragraph by listing the reasons why people decide to move to another country. However, I should have omitted the phrase"so people have to go away and find a stable one" because it redundant to the previous idea.
In the second developer sentence I would paraphrase "other reason for immigration" because it is repeated in the previous example.
The word "people" could be replaced by "a familiy or a person" in the last example.
In the conclusion paragraph, you talk about something that it was not discussed eagerly in the developers paragraph (the decision of starting a new life in other country is not an easy one).
I should use "however" instead of "but" in the concluding paragraph.(it sounds more formal).
You use a synonym for `country´(the place where they are living) in order not to repeat the word.
correction made by Sabrina Acosta and Verónica Villalba.
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